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Raising a Feminist Son

Ideally, the concept of 'feminism' should not exist. However, sadly, there's an indispensable need because gender inequality is a real issue plaguing our societies.

While women in their roles as wives, mothers, sisters, and employees are striving to do their bit to demand equal rights and break stereotypes, there's work to be done by men and boys too. More so because feminism is not just for women.

1. Teach your son what feminism is - that It is NOT femininity, but about equality. Talk to him about how important it is for everyone, both men and women, to fix what's wrong and to make the society fair and equal for all.

2. Point out misogynistic headlines and discuss the nuances of stereotyping in commercials. At the same time, point to real life experiences and situations that disprove media driven perceptions.

3. Let your son know that gender does not qualify or translate to power, strength, or status, in any situation.

4. Offer (or read to) your son books with strong female protagonists and biographies of women in science and history. Unfortunately, mainstream resources do not often present this, and we must consciously reach out for stories on courageous and intellectual women. Luckily, there's plenty out there!

5. No means NO. We've been teaching our girls to speak out for way too long. It's time to teach our sons this mantra. Tell him it applies right from any sort of mild gender-related bullying. Show him how being an accomplice or a spectator is as wrong as being the perpetrator. If the age and timing are appropriate, talk to him about eve-teasing and sexual assaults.

6. Be okay with him crying, flaunting his pink gear, or playing with dolls. Color coding and gender specific merchandise were born out of corporations, not human evolution.

7. Be wary of the adjectives you associate with girls when you speak. Do not limit them to beautiful or pretty. Notice when girls are smart and acknowledge it. Give them credit for being strong or brave, so your son can follow suit eventually.

8. Stop saying boys are being boys. Gender must never be an excuse for any wrong doing.

9. Explain how the tag, like a girl, has mostly come to connote vulnerability or substandard practices. And normalize the notion of girls not conforming to stereotypical roles and behaviors - there are many, many girls who like building robots and playing basketball, just as many who hate shopping or cooking.

10. Let your son's social circle include girls, even as they get older. It'll teach him to treat all women and girls respectfully, and value them as much as his own female friends.

11. Don't be partial to him with chores or the type of chores. If he can hit a home run, he can clean a mess.

12. Discuss world events and news that bear relevance to gender inequity. There's still horrifying discrimination in many facets of life, including dowry, child marriage, right to education, sexual harassment, and unequal pay scales. Have healthy dialogues around these with your son. Make him think, question, and fight, so he can make a change.

But first, be the change - be a feminist. Because, he's watching.

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